Lamer Status

This is why you’re fat.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:04:38 -0700

This is why you’re fat.

They both suck. And I hate you more than AIDS.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:04:08 -0700

They both suck.

And I hate you more than AIDS.

Sounds like somebody crushed it at a shitty, Sunday night, 7pm,...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:02:40 -0700

Sounds like somebody crushed it at a shitty, Sunday night, 7pm, bringer show.

Can’t wait to check out your headling spot next week after the open mic at the Ha Ha Cafe.

Thank you, sweary, self-appointed, social media weatherman.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:01:12 -0700

Thank you, sweary, self-appointed, social media weatherman.

It’d be less letters to just type, “Yeah, I’m...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:00:49 -0700

It’d be less letters to just type, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I have Herpes.”

Which is sadder, your spelling, grammar and punctuation or the...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:24:21 -0700

Which is sadder, your spelling, grammar and punctuation or the fact that you had to answer your own post?

Trick question: It’s a tie!

We’ve been on vacation. Lamerstatus.com is now back online full-time. We will be posting new...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:57:42 -0700

We’ve been on vacation.

Lamerstatus.com is now back online full-time.

We will be posting new updates (and your submissions!) every weekday starting later this afternoon.

Thanks for following us.

I guarantee that you will have so many more children than any...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:23:14 -0700

I guarantee that you will have so many more children than any intelligent person that I know.

Great.

And, also, fuck you.

I’m not sure, but I’d venture a guess that it has...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:23:11 -0700

I’m not sure, but I’d venture a guess that it has something to do with your poor kids getting stuck with your retarded, can’t spell worth a fuck, inbred hobo DNA.

Great. I hope you swallow the clippings and they make your...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:22:29 -0700

Great. I hope you swallow the clippings and they make your appendix burst.

Thanks for the abnormally stupid update.

WOW… pretty sure that you didn’t actually cry over...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:21:31 -0700

WOW… pretty sure that you didn’t actually cry over some stupid homeless, overpriced doll.

Or, maybe you did.

In that case, I hope a bus falls on your neck for being such an idiot.

Happy Monday

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:21:08 -0700

Thank you to all of our new followers.

We appreciate it.

Keep your submissions coming.

I’m starting a new FB group called “Proud To Be...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:20:44 -0700

I’m starting a new FB group called “Proud To Be Morons” and I nominate you president of it for life.

Just think how excited and proud you’ll be when he turns...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 10:21:24 -0700

Just think how excited and proud you’ll be when he turns 15 and you finally stop breast feeding him in public.

You fucking weirdo.

You are one of the many reasons that pretty much anyone who...

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:14:00 -0700

You are one of the many reasons that pretty much anyone who isn’t a retard hates Christians. In fact, if Jesus were alive and on Facebook, he’d not only hate your guts but probably “hide” your comments, if not just all-out delete you. Have a nice GoFuckYourselfDay.

Yes, because most blood thirsty serial killers totally have time...

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:46:22 -0700

Yes, because most blood thirsty serial killers totally have time to keep up their FB status.

Hate to break it to you but most legitimate music producers...

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:27:09 -0700

Hate to break it to you but most legitimate music producers don’t discover new talent as they shop at Forever 21.

Beware of possible red flags during your audition:

1. Audition takes place inside a van or U-Haul parked outside a Ross Dress For Less or TJ Maxx store.

2. The phrase “How about a blowjob?” is bandied about more than customary during typical business proceedings.

Well, I hope donkey blowjob class goes better tomorrow. Get some...

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:27:09 -0700

Well, I hope donkey blowjob class goes better tomorrow.

Get some rest. You deserve it.

Hey you stupid poor asshole, I can’t make fun of shit...

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:00:37 -0700

Hey you stupid poor asshole, I can’t make fun of shit that’s this goddamn sad.

Quit fucking up my website.

You food stamping overspending prick.

Whoops, I made a typo. Final sentence should have read,...

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 10:00:42 -0700

Whoops, I made a typo.

Final sentence should have read, “College tuition is wasted on me. My parents should have just sent me to DeVry.”